Mirror, mirror…who is the fairest of all? How relevant is this in a “family”?!
There is something about the family that brings out the innate desire to compete, or one up. For this blog, I define family as, to quote, “genetic comrades”.
The idea of family is arguably the center of it all. It is our first opportunity to belong. Shaping and contributing to, our beliefs, values, personalities, and futures, through the dynamics in which the unit exists and functions. The parenting, only child or sibling, birth order, given role, extended relatives, economic status, home, traditions, education, faith practices, health, and so much more. It has been said what happens in your primary years – maybe up to 5 – will be more revealing than we realize. Seems possible, how many of us really remember those first years other than an event or feeling, here or there? But should life dictate, reflecting upon them will provide an image that offers clarity to where you are in the present. While leaning in to get a better view, consider the likelihood of all doing the best they could, at that moment in time, with the knowledge they held.
Maybe your entire life you seek approval because of your parental relationship. Maybe you became a high achiever hoping to be noticed, finding independence instead. Maybe you believe there’s nothing you can’t do because of the support you received. You fight back from being picked on. You have trust issues. You generously give to others. Millions of families, millions of stories – uniquely individual, highly insightful. Showing up in relationships, communities, businesses, careers, work, play, society – our own created family.
The definition of family has evolved significantly for me. My unspoken story viewed through a cracked mirror; broken families not uncommon. I now consider attributes, more than blood ties. Can you be your authentic self? Do you feel accepted and a sense of belonging? Is there security and safety? Is love from the place of each other’s betterment, positioning for success? How present is competition?
Mirror, Mirror…there is no fairest of all, in families that shine.
Reimagine Possibilities would like to be your 1:1 personal, executive, family coach. My Narrative Coach training combined with life experiences allow me to be empathic and understanding of all that is good, and the challenges that can be. If you keep looking in the rearview mirror, watch out, you may crash into what is in front of you.
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